– Because yes, our bodies are worthy of joy – exactly as they are. –
It’s PRIDE y’all!
A time full of love, glitter, and rainbows. A collective celebration where we come together, uplift each other, and dare to live out loud. An invitation to be our most authentic selves, whatever that looks like.
This year, DC celebrated 50 years of Capital Pride, and baby, it gave what it needed to give! Music festivals, fun on every corner, and beautiful humans reminded me what we’re capable of when we come together. And guess what? June’s not over! We’re still in it!
But when the glamour fades and the music quiets, we’re often left to face the reality we carry year-round. Maybe the doubt creeps back in. The world, in all its mess, tries to pull us out of ourselves. Tries to convince us joy and pleasure are luxuries we must earn.
One may be asking themselves:
- Do I deserve to find joy?
- Am I worthy of experiencing pleasure?
- Do I think these are things that need to be earned?
Um…yes! F*ck YES! And a loud and rambunctious HELL to the NAW!
My relationship to joy and pleasure has been an interesting one, and honestly, it continues to be. I have no problem seeing the beauty in the world or finding joy in the little things. You could probably gauge my pleasure meter by how giddy I get over pretty much everything. But deep underneath the surface? There was guilt. Shame. Heavy emotions inherited from grind culture, purity culture, colonialism…all the systems of oppression that strip us of our joy. These systems weren’t designed for our freedom. They were built to mold us into something palatable. “Respectable.” Anything but our full, radiant, authentic selves.
Giving myself permission to show up as my authentic self is a daily battle. I have to remind myself that it is ok for me to feel alive. It is ok to be sensual. I AM Whole.
Pleasure is a radical act. It’s resistance. It’s reclamation. It’s joy as advocacy and joy as spirituality. It’s me arriving on my mat NOT to perfect a particular form, but to be present in that moment. To come home to myself as I am.
Yoga for My Whole, Neurospicy, Queer, Melanin-Blessed Self
When I say yoga, I don’t mean the asana centered version one may see in various studios or the media. I mean the healing, raw, practice of presence, connection, and liberation that has been passed down from our ancestors. Yoga is very personal to everyone. For me it shows up as:
- A deep exhale as I jiggle my thighs deepening my forward fold.
- A hip sway that produces a giggle.
- A slow breath that hushes the shame.
- A mantra with vibrations that wake my spirit.
My practice holds me. No need to mask. No need to shrink or hide. Just presence – starring me, embodying the messy and radiating the fierce.
The Sensual Practice: Body Scan for Pleasure & Power
If pleasure seems a bit distant, not to worry. This is a gentle way to call it back.
Visualization and activating our senses will meet it halfway.
This practice is best done in a dimly lit room, preferably by candlelight.
The space should invite intimacy and comfort.
Suggested Items:
Soft music, blanket, body oils (butters and creams work as well), fruit, chocolate, beverage of choice, journal.
Settle into a comfortable seat – your mat, couch, bed, or favorite cozy chair will do just fine.
Close your eyes, or soften your gaze.
Take a slow breath in through your nose. Exhale through the nose humming “mmmm.”
Do this for three complete breath cycles honing in on the vibrations from your exhale.
Now drop into your body, one part at a time:
- Crown of the head: Do you feel any sensations here? Maybe there is awareness of the scent of your shampoo or hair cream? Do a light scalp massage to amplify those sensations.
- Jaw + lips: Do you notice any clenching? Take a deep breath in. On your exhale, soften. Maybe nibble on an available snack. Notice the sensations.
- Shoulders: Do you notice them greeting your ears, maybe holding a bit of tension? Take a deep breath in, rolling your shoulders forward and up. On your exhale, roll them back and down. Feel free to continue this for a few more breaths. Notice any feedback. Acknowledge it.
- Chest + belly: Place one hand on your belly, the other on your heart. Sit here and breathe naturally. Feel the rise of your belly. Feel the beating of your heart. Listen to your breathing. Is there anything in your heart that needs attention? Take note of it.
- Hips: Touch them. Notice any tension present. If you have room to do so, sway your hips by doing small pelvic circles. First in one direction, then the other. Stand and sway more if the energy calls for it. This is your power center. It knows what it needs.
- Thighs, knees, feet: Lightly massage. Honor them. Thank them. They have carried you through this world.
Now ask yourself:
Where in my body do I feel the tiniest spark of yumminess, ease, or curiosity?
Journal your response.
Pleasure Is Not a Luxury. It’s a Birthright.
This Pride Month, I am reminding myself to show myself grace. I’m not contorting myself to fit anyone’s expectations. I’m not shrinking to be digestible. I’m not masking my joy, and I for damn sure am not masking my tears. I am claiming Me. All of Me. 365 days of the year.
There is divinity in our practice no matter how we approach it. There is divinity in how we honor ourselves, how we see ourselves, how we show up in this world. There is divinity in all of us. It needs to shine brightly and with no shade. Authentic…for Us.
Remember that on this Sagittarius full moon.
Remember that the next time you feel like you don’t see yourself in this practice – it’s what you make it!
Remember that when someone tries to tell you who you are – they don’t know sh*t!
You know who you are. We all do.
The rest of the world will f*ck around and find out.
Your practice is yours. Your pleasure is yours.
Claim it.
Happy Pride, Beloveds.
